Valentine's Day Disappointment

Rushed downstairs this morning with a thumping heart to see how many Valentine's Day tributes had been left for me.  Bitter blow to discover an empty bowl.  What, not even anything from the elderly tortoiseshell cat two door's down.  I'm sure I have some admirers, they are just not making themselves known for fear of social inequality.  After all I am a pedigree and therefore far above the ranks of the average feline on the street.  I wailed my disappointment at the Tall One who has promised to compensate with prawns this evening so all is not lost.

Phyllis & Dilys: The Christmas Mice

Lookie-here. It was the Tall One's first day back at work on Tuesday after the Christmas break, so in order to prepare her for this occasion I decided to test her response rates.  Exactly at three o'clock in the morning I jumped up on the bed and landed squarely on her chest.  I then nipped her wrist, inserted my claw in her nostril and firmly clasped my teeth through her hair onto her scalp.  Normally, I can be dissuaded from such activity by several minutes of wrestling. However, this time I wasn't taking no for an answer and the Tall one got quite alarmed that she'd left the iron on, there was a fire somewhere or that someone was trying to break in as I was so insistent.  After much door rattling and pacing the Tall One returned to bed.  I then took this as my cue to do some stomach heaving and returned the food on her carpet that I had eaten earlier that evening.  Did she not know that I was telling her I was about to throw up?  

A few wet wipes applied to the carpet later the Tall One returned moaning about "blasted stains".  I examined the area and had to concur with her that indeed the carpet now featured a patch a shade darker, so I decided to accessorize further by going outside, eating some grass and then promptly regurgitating that a few inches away from my sick pile.  All was not lost however, as the Kewley-Grettons kindly sent the same day some very clever Christmas mice in stockings in the post.  I threw them about and chomped on their heads several times and then carried them upstairs to the bedroom.  As you can see, with a wave of my wand and a shout of 'obscuro' I can magic the stains away with careful placement of Phyllis & Dillis.  I am immensely proud of my interior design skills.

The Prince & the Pea

After trying but then abandoning a few unsatisfactory bedding arrangements, I settled upon this one.  Although I do have some, ahem, internal cushioning of my own, I do like to ensure a good layer of soft padding when taking my slumbers.  The Tall One was a slight misery-guts about it though and informed me that I was distributing my flea eggs amongst her clean ironing pile.

Acquainting oneself with the Halloween Arachnids

Slight surprise to find these fellows on the stairs.  I decided an attitude of casual nonchalance was the best approach until I could work out if they were friends or foes.

Thought I would get a little closer to inspect them since nobody was around to do formal introductions ...

Well there is no harm in a chap getting better acquainted with his house-guests now is there.  After all we could become bosom friends

And if I kind of accidentally sniff it, stick my claw in its head and scalp out a large tuft of fur and then run off with it in my mouth, well it is all in the spirit of fellowship and bonhomie, isn't it?

How Great Thou Art, How Great Thou Art





Mutual Admiration



"Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works thy hand hath made". 

Yes, godly works are upon earth indeed!  Please take time to gaze on Valentine's Day upon my unparalleled divine form and to ask yourself if there is a better tribute to the Lord's creation than myself.  I think you will find after some deliberation that there is not.  Admire the shape of my head, the curve of my nose and swoon over the fur on my fine tail.

As well as thanking myself for my natural good looks I have to thank Auntie Poll for giving me this fine gift as a late birthday present and the talented Binks c/o Compton Verney for taking inspiration from my wondrous self and creating this wonderful ornament.

Waiting for Halloween

I'm getting prepared for Halloween and the arrival of thunderous intruders knocking at my door causing me to growl, assume a body position low to the ground and then to rush upstairs to seek sanctuary under the double bed.  However, I should be grateful that the Tall One does not make me suffer the unspeakable humiliating awfulness that are 'costumes'.  If she tried the emasculating costume below I'd be sure to pack up and leave.

Un chat noir dans ma maison

Assessing the Domestic Appliances

Checking out the food situation

Well, what can I say.  I had to endure about a week of this blasted blighter busting in through the bathroom window at every given opportunity whilst I was either asleep upstairs or further afield , until finally enough was enough.  It tried its best Oscar performance for a lost stray soul far from afar when I know it lives on the other side of the street with another large tabby that I dislike intensely, a bad-tempered Schnauzer and several daughters with boyfriends in situ.  The Tall One thinks it was simply looking for some peace and quiet but whatever it was certainly determined at giving it a good go at moving into my house.  The final straw was when I came downstairs to find it had salivated over my cat-nip toy and I'm afraid to say some biting of its tail area was involved.  Whatever, it seems to have done the trick and I haven't seen it since.  Good riddance.