"Disappointing Behaviour" Corner

Hurrumph, I appear to have been put in the "Disappointing Behaviour" corner.  Don't they know that nobody puts Moses in the corner?

It all started at 5.50 am. Early morning sunshine in West Oxfordshire so the birds were out in a great throng on the lawn.  The tall one was doing a bit of drying up whilst waiting for her bath to fill when I galloped through the kitchen doors and rushed into the living room trying to pretend I did not have something flapping in my mouth. Oh it was muchos heart-thumping exciting!  I gave it a push about with my paw to watch it flap and open its little beak but was then rudely interrupted by the tall one who grabbed me and tried to shut me in the bathroom.  I escaped before she shut the door and came back for another biff at the little blackbird baby birdie.  I was then bundled upstairs and put in the bedroom and almost got my head squashed as I tried to squeeze through.  On realising I was trapped I bellowed in disgust at my confinement.

The tall one managed to get the little dust-covered birdie inside a tea towel despite it cheeping loudly at her and placed it back outside.  She watched it hop, but not fly about.  When she went out later it was not there so she hopes it made a recovery.  Having a bit of a sulk that she did not let me back out to finish it off.

The Mouse and His Child v Female Blackbird

Mouse & His Child after a Bird-Washing

Owner sat relaxing in her bath and heard sound of my delicate footsteps thundering back inside the house.  Shortly afterwards she heard a noise of something falling, soon followed by what sounded like me rushing about attacking something.  "Ppff, she thought, I don't want to be dealing with large spiders or small rodents dripping wet and barefoot in a towel" and so she ignored it, even though the crashing continued.

Having re-dressed she went upstairs to where she thought the sound of the noise was coming from to find me lying on her bed calmly dozing so she re-traced her steps downstairs to find a large female blackbird perched on the kitchen counter looking quite nonplussed by her arrival.  On closer inspection she found her Mouse and its Child toy that normally sits atop the windowsill floating in the washing up bowl and a piece of my Hill's dried cat food sitting on the windowsill where the toy had been.  OUTRAGE, this pesky blackbird had obviously decided to come a-thieving in my food bowl and had tried to carry off some of my food.  Does it contain essence of worms or slugs to make it so appetising to non-felines?  I heard my owner trying to shoo it out the window and immediately charged down the stairs as I wished to reprimand this brazen criminal and chirruped loudly at it whilst it flew around the kitchen.  Unfortunately it escaped out the velux window before I could catch its fluttering self in my mouth.

Back once again with the ill behaviour

Well I've been having quite a week of ill behaviour although I've been let off as the tall kneading-cushion person was a little concerned that I might be a bit under the weather.  Apart from drinking the contents of the toilet, I managed to drape a poo over the coffee table to greet my owner on her arrival downstairs in the morning.  I vomitted grass sick on the rug downstairs, vomitted food sick on the carpet upstairs and am refusing to eat my wet food although I am carefully licking the nice gravy off it first before I sign it off to the rubbish bin.  My behaviour is normal it is just the not eating my wet food and the vomitting that is setting my owner on edge slightly.

Still I'm better behaved than Ms Polly's cat Augustus who likes to bang the craniums of his prey on my owner's nieces doors in the middle of the night and managed to push through Miss Tabitha's doors with a live blackbird in the early hours which flew around her head in the dark.  Ghastly!

The Golden Bowl

Not sure the author Henry James had this in mind when he wrote The Golden Bowl ...?

Oldest girl in the village?

Treacherous behaviour on the part of my owner.  I have discovered from sniffing her clothing that she has been consorting with other felines.  She has been giving food, cleaning out litter trays and giving away attention that should SOLELY be reserved for my good self to Madame Jakey in the village.  Jakey is a very elderly girl and likes to have a good shout at visitors as you can see from the attached picture.  She may be old but she is not stupid and was having none of her pills despite owner trying to hide them in Webbox treats and turkey ham.  In between the shouting she did a bit of purring and delayed my owner returning home to my splendid self.  I sought revenge on my owner for her shocking neglect by fiercely nipping her hair and sharpening my claws on her sheet at the head of pillow at midnight, 3.30 am and finally at 4.52 am until I got her out of bed.

Rotund cats from little acorns grow

Small acorns to ...

rotund cats.  Who's been eating all the pies?

Who let the cats out ... nobody

Now that Spring has Sprung in a half-hearted manner, I am finding that I am wanting to be outside in the fresh air more than normal.  However, I am finding my owner is rather slow on the uptake regarding letting me out.  She did try and train me to use a strange swinging flap contraption at another house but I thought it was beneath my dignity to pass through a heavy piece of plastic that would bash me on the head, so she has not bothered to install one of these thingymejings in her own abode, thank goodness.  I therefore have to either screech at her with much gusto to inform her that I wish to be let outside or I try another tactic of standing on my back legs and bashing on the door with my front paws.  Eventually she usually gets the drift but she can be a little obstructive at times.