RSPB Sentry Cat

Well here I am royally protecting a female blackbird trying to have a quiet moment atop its nest of eggs.  I like to take my Royal Household sentry duty very seriously and I spent a good two to three hours sitting but a metre away offering her my superb bodyguard and communication skills.  The bodyguard side of the role consisted of standing on my back legs whilst waving one paw in the air and I made sure I kept her abreast of developments by miaowing loudly at her.  I was relieved of my duties at various intervals by the Tall One who showed shoddy camera skills and signs of bossiness.  She wouldn't get a position in the Household Guards.

Medical Detection Cat

The tall one was diagnosed as Type 2 diabetic today.  Well, "hello" I tried to tell her this earlier by helpfully drinking her urine, smelling her breath, waking her up by pushing my whiskers against her face and biting her hair in the early hours when her blood sugar was low and obsessively kneading her pancreas area but would she listen,  NO.  She paid more attention when she was going for a walk around the lake and a silly Red Setter dog ran up to her when she was feeling a little wibbly and made a strange whiny noise at her.  Well it ain't just dogs that are gifted with the sense of smell, sister!

Grievances

 

Furry bottoms to:

1. The tall one visiting Crufts and falling in love with 'oh so adorable' flat-faced French bulldogs.  She returned reeking of stinky canines and I had to inform her of my great disappointment with a disgusted yelpy noise to protest at this unacceptable behaviour.
2. The tall one spending £0.40 less and buying Whiskers basic gravy range.  I'm beggared if I'm eating that cheap muck and am only prepared to lick the gravy off the supposed 'meat' chunks.  She can put a stop to ideas of economising on cat food, thank you very much, as she will have to give the rest to the mudblood cats at Pat & Mike's who deserve less in life not being pedigree like myself but mere moggies.
3. The warmer weather which has led to an explosion of les petits insects within my warm fur and the inevitable dosage of pongy skin drops by the evil one.

Dawn Prawn Chorus

Fish pie making with the tall one always entails a certain amount of yowling with gusto on my part when the delicious pink worm things are doing circular routes in the microwave.  As you can see it is noisy time well invested.

Gentlemen Callers

Part of the garden fence blew down in the gales before Christmas so I have enjoyed having a peep hole into the exciting wild land down the public footpath where passing cats like to take their morning constitution. This has proved most fruitful as I've managed to make several felines seize up rigid with fear just by glaring at them from my viewing position atop the pond.  Fluffy the tabby was captivated for a full 20 minutes by my menacing gaze until she legged it down the other side of the fence.

Unfortunately activity out the front has proved less salubrious. The lady opposite seems to have had rather a lot of strange gentlemen callers and the tall one thinks she may be operating a business as a lady of the night.  Zounds, we can do without that.  The phantom pooper is still operating in the front flower bed. I was also ignomiously bundled into my cat carrier for my annual injections where the vet lady enquired about my constipati*n in front of the tall one, what humiliation.

Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How Enticing Art Thou Baubles

I have been receiving extra dietary nourishment c/o the fake plastic tree in the living room.  I've explored a branch with my mouth, chewed a polystyrene berry, pulled the string of lights and bopped a bear decoration.  I'm waiting til the tall one goes to work to have a go at throwing one of the glass baubles about.  Tres amusement!

Oooh, something new ...

Oooh, something shiny ...

Oooh, something sparkling, MUST attack NOW!

Gosh, all that tree attacking is tiring

American Cousins

Happy Thanksgiving Day on November 28th to any felines in the Grand Ol' U.S.A.  I hope you get your chops around a tasty morsel of turkey, even if my favourite treat of choice is prawns. I would also like to say Happy Hanukkah for any cats of the Jewish faith although if they are kosher cats they should stay away from the prawns and leave them all to me! I quite like the American cartoon cat Garfield but I prefer Simon's Cat www.simonscat.com as he looks and acts just like me.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'All