House Guest Etiquette ("You Shall Not Pass")

The Stairs - You Shall Not Pass

The Stare

I think it is important that when the Intruder Ones (otherwise known as 'house guests' according to the Tall One) come to stay that a few ground rules are established. 

1.  On arrival of the Intruder One, be sure to present yourself as close to possible to their feet and suitcase thus creating an obstacle and hindering further movement of the Intruder One into your territory.

2.  Should the Intruder One dare to seat themself, immediately press your face and bottom as close to their visage as possible.  Bonus points are obtained if their clothing can be accessorised with dead fur and if you are able to pass on your feline pong or saliva by rubbing your scent glands on them.

3.  Be sure to herd Intruder Ones into their designated areas.  Should they attempt to climb the stairs then loiter menacingly in the shadows so that they know that all attempts to gain access may be met with teeth nips or claws.

4.  Do not under any circumstances let them close a bedroom door on you when they retire for the night.  If such attempts at privacy are attempted, remind them of whose house it is by miowing loudly and scratching frantically at their door at 1.30 am.  If access is then granted, be sure to remind Intruder Ones that they are only being allowed temporary access to your space by giving them the 'Intimidating Stare'.

5.  Be sure to gain recompense from them by making sure necessary homage is paid via stroking and general admiration.