I have not had the opportunity to update my manuscript in recent months. It is ever since the stinky Tall One got a stinky new job which involves stinky new working hours and much feline neglect. I have been my feelings known.
First off, after waiting endlessly for the Tall One to return to refresh my food bowl with Hills dried biscuits the blinking woman from next door came around to talk to the Tall One for an unnecessarily long amount of time which delayed the replenishment of my nouriture so I ahem, relieved myself on the kitchen floor. Then I decided that the stair carpet was a rather boring shade of beige and so I decided to accessorise with strategically placed small brown objects.
Secondly, I decided to capture the black-feathered one whilst it was doing its annual raid on my food bowl and took it through to the living room where it had to agree with me regarding the boring beige colour scheme and decided to add a few interesting touches to the rug, floor and walls. Sadly it then evaded me and decided to play Statues on the kitchen windowsill. I sang a lovely lament at it as I waved my paws around the kitchen counter but it was bundled out in a tea towel by the Tall One.
Finally, I was sitting on the garden path this morning minding my own patch whilst the Tall One removed her things out of the courtesy car when a lady appeared with a small dog. "He likes cats he does, but they don't feel the same way ... He used to live with a cat and misses them". The Tall One smiled obligingly at this cat-friendly canine whereupon I had to concur with this lady's comments and so arched my back and took aggressive advance movements towards the irksome creature ready to see it off my land. The Tall One was most embarrassed and had to advise the lady to actively move her dog on forthwith due to my aggression. Well I may be pedigree but I do live on a Council Estate.
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