Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How Enticing Art Thou Baubles

I have been receiving extra dietary nourishment c/o the fake plastic tree in the living room.  I've explored a branch with my mouth, chewed a polystyrene berry, pulled the string of lights and bopped a bear decoration.  I'm waiting til the tall one goes to work to have a go at throwing one of the glass baubles about.  Tres amusement!

Oooh, something new ...

Oooh, something shiny ...

Oooh, something sparkling, MUST attack NOW!

Gosh, all that tree attacking is tiring

American Cousins

Happy Thanksgiving Day on November 28th to any felines in the Grand Ol' U.S.A.  I hope you get your chops around a tasty morsel of turkey, even if my favourite treat of choice is prawns. I would also like to say Happy Hanukkah for any cats of the Jewish faith although if they are kosher cats they should stay away from the prawns and leave them all to me! I quite like the American cartoon cat Garfield but I prefer Simon's Cat www.simonscat.com as he looks and acts just like me.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'All

Doppelgang-ing

Fiddlesticks, the tall one has been caught eyeing up pictures of pesky kittens on the bright box thing.  Blow me down with a bird feather but the Mumsie of the infuriating fur-balls looks the spitting image of myself except for the fact that she is a stoopid girl cat.  I wonder if we are related as she could be my sister?  For-tuna-lately, the asking price for these impish pests is considerately higher than what was paid for my amazing self and the tall one has to buy expensive things for the garden like a shed so I will not be plagued by a small thing trying to steal the attention from the tall one - ha ha.  Tall one bit sad though as she says it is 'oh so sweet and cuddly looking'.  Get a grip woman for goodness sake, one heaven-sent cat is enough for you!

Welcome Home

Waiting for the Tall One to arrive Home from work

Moses in the Middle

I have been visiting Robert Elliott's Vets in Stanford-in-the Vale due to ahem (embarrased cough) a certain 'lack of movement'.  After four days of the tall one obsessively checking my empty litter tray she was getting a little frantic and so I was escorted to the vets for examination.

Fortunately 'movement' was observed to be in progress but just not there yet so I was bundled off with some extra tasty Royal Canin Hairball biscuits to encourage things along and some cellulose granules to try if those failed.  In the waiting area, I met a senior citizen black Labrador, a West Highland Terrier and a shouty Cairn/Poodle mix.  All very interesting smelling even if faintly alarming.  Did not fancy the idea of the granules being added to my food or gawd forbid mention of another word if that did not do the trick and so I offered up my worldly goods the same evening after I'd done a run through neighbour Pat and Mike's garden which is good to get the adrenalin going as they have three furry-trousered creatures that are none too keen on me.  The tortoiseshell one has visited my garden recently and came and stared at my food bowl through the closed french doors which enraged me greatly.

Ironing with Moses

Well here I am sitting on the bottom of the tall person's sheet whilst she is trying to do the ironing.  When she tries to move the sheet across the ironing board she can't as my great weight is sitting on it. Evil chortle, nasal snort ...

Moses and the (non) Burning Bush

Celebrated my fourth birthday on Saturday July 20th.  The tall-one failed to buy me a present (she thinks I have enough toys already, skinflint) and was also unsuccessful in providing me with a plentiful plate of prawns.  Think I might return her to DudOwnersRUs for a full refund.

I have also:

1. Briefly got myself stuck under the decking area after going for a reconaissance mission.
2. Exterminated an exciting blue dragonfly.
3. Aghast to hear that Aunt Hat's cat Heli has been having to deal with large nasty hissing grass snakes in her back garden in Woburn Sands.  I would not like such works of the devil in West Oxfordshire.
4. Sat under the Berberis bush in the garden trying to find some shade but also frequented neighbouring gardens and refused to come in when called.
5. Tested new Comfortis flea treatment crushed and mixed up in my lovely Lick-e-Lix. Realised something was amiss about half way through the tablet and refused to eat the remainder of the dose.  However, a few ailing fleas were spotted on my coat shortly afterwards and not stinky-poo smelly like the chemical drops.

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot

Aerating my stomach fur on the stairs

The tall one has been off work all week so I've had her at home which has been simply bliss-kinis as I've had her at my beck and call.  I've been demanding extra brushing sessions, snuggles under the bedcovers, food bowl top-ups and general admiration 24/7.  I've also had separate visits from the doting grand-mere and le grand-pere, lucky me.

It has however, got rather hot in the UK (28 degrees) and my house gets very warm so I've been rather knocked out by the heat and have to keep aerating my stomach fur on the stairs in an attempt to cool down.  I watched the news with the tall one last night and at the news that Abu Qatada had been deported from the UK to Jordan I turned my attention towards the television and did a particularly high-pitched loud purr.  I think it is important to keep abreast of current affairs to distinguish myself from the pavement moggies.

"Disappointing Behaviour" Corner

Hurrumph, I appear to have been put in the "Disappointing Behaviour" corner.  Don't they know that nobody puts Moses in the corner?

It all started at 5.50 am. Early morning sunshine in West Oxfordshire so the birds were out in a great throng on the lawn.  The tall one was doing a bit of drying up whilst waiting for her bath to fill when I galloped through the kitchen doors and rushed into the living room trying to pretend I did not have something flapping in my mouth. Oh it was muchos heart-thumping exciting!  I gave it a push about with my paw to watch it flap and open its little beak but was then rudely interrupted by the tall one who grabbed me and tried to shut me in the bathroom.  I escaped before she shut the door and came back for another biff at the little blackbird baby birdie.  I was then bundled upstairs and put in the bedroom and almost got my head squashed as I tried to squeeze through.  On realising I was trapped I bellowed in disgust at my confinement.

The tall one managed to get the little dust-covered birdie inside a tea towel despite it cheeping loudly at her and placed it back outside.  She watched it hop, but not fly about.  When she went out later it was not there so she hopes it made a recovery.  Having a bit of a sulk that she did not let me back out to finish it off.

The Mouse and His Child v Female Blackbird

Mouse & His Child after a Bird-Washing

Owner sat relaxing in her bath and heard sound of my delicate footsteps thundering back inside the house.  Shortly afterwards she heard a noise of something falling, soon followed by what sounded like me rushing about attacking something.  "Ppff, she thought, I don't want to be dealing with large spiders or small rodents dripping wet and barefoot in a towel" and so she ignored it, even though the crashing continued.

Having re-dressed she went upstairs to where she thought the sound of the noise was coming from to find me lying on her bed calmly dozing so she re-traced her steps downstairs to find a large female blackbird perched on the kitchen counter looking quite nonplussed by her arrival.  On closer inspection she found her Mouse and its Child toy that normally sits atop the windowsill floating in the washing up bowl and a piece of my Hill's dried cat food sitting on the windowsill where the toy had been.  OUTRAGE, this pesky blackbird had obviously decided to come a-thieving in my food bowl and had tried to carry off some of my food.  Does it contain essence of worms or slugs to make it so appetising to non-felines?  I heard my owner trying to shoo it out the window and immediately charged down the stairs as I wished to reprimand this brazen criminal and chirruped loudly at it whilst it flew around the kitchen.  Unfortunately it escaped out the velux window before I could catch its fluttering self in my mouth.

Back once again with the ill behaviour

Well I've been having quite a week of ill behaviour although I've been let off as the tall kneading-cushion person was a little concerned that I might be a bit under the weather.  Apart from drinking the contents of the toilet, I managed to drape a poo over the coffee table to greet my owner on her arrival downstairs in the morning.  I vomitted grass sick on the rug downstairs, vomitted food sick on the carpet upstairs and am refusing to eat my wet food although I am carefully licking the nice gravy off it first before I sign it off to the rubbish bin.  My behaviour is normal it is just the not eating my wet food and the vomitting that is setting my owner on edge slightly.

Still I'm better behaved than Ms Polly's cat Augustus who likes to bang the craniums of his prey on my owner's nieces doors in the middle of the night and managed to push through Miss Tabitha's doors with a live blackbird in the early hours which flew around her head in the dark.  Ghastly!

The Golden Bowl

Not sure the author Henry James had this in mind when he wrote The Golden Bowl ...?

Oldest girl in the village?

Treacherous behaviour on the part of my owner.  I have discovered from sniffing her clothing that she has been consorting with other felines.  She has been giving food, cleaning out litter trays and giving away attention that should SOLELY be reserved for my good self to Madame Jakey in the village.  Jakey is a very elderly girl and likes to have a good shout at visitors as you can see from the attached picture.  She may be old but she is not stupid and was having none of her pills despite owner trying to hide them in Webbox treats and turkey ham.  In between the shouting she did a bit of purring and delayed my owner returning home to my splendid self.  I sought revenge on my owner for her shocking neglect by fiercely nipping her hair and sharpening my claws on her sheet at the head of pillow at midnight, 3.30 am and finally at 4.52 am until I got her out of bed.

Rotund cats from little acorns grow

Small acorns to ...

rotund cats.  Who's been eating all the pies?

Who let the cats out ... nobody

Now that Spring has Sprung in a half-hearted manner, I am finding that I am wanting to be outside in the fresh air more than normal.  However, I am finding my owner is rather slow on the uptake regarding letting me out.  She did try and train me to use a strange swinging flap contraption at another house but I thought it was beneath my dignity to pass through a heavy piece of plastic that would bash me on the head, so she has not bothered to install one of these thingymejings in her own abode, thank goodness.  I therefore have to either screech at her with much gusto to inform her that I wish to be let outside or I try another tactic of standing on my back legs and bashing on the door with my front paws.  Eventually she usually gets the drift but she can be a little obstructive at times.

Missing Moses

Disappeared for a long time on Tuesday evening and gave my owner quite a scare.  She checked the bamboo bush in the back of the garden, she called me and shook the Royal Canin food bag.  This conjured up Lily the neighbourhood white cat with black blotches who obviously thought she was in for a tasty treat but no Moses.  Owner put shoes on and went for a cat hunt.  I was located, by my collar tag glinting in the darkness, half way up a footpath that runs along the side of the house having a face-off with Fluffy, a long-haired female tabby that belongs to neighbours Pat and Mike.  We must have been having a turf-war stare-off for a good 45 minutes.  I was initially reluctant to walk towards my owner and when I did Fluffy had a swipe of me.  Slightly embarrased by admitting defeat to a girl cat I diverted on return to own property into other neighbour's drive where the dog is usually to show machismo but fortunately the Spinone was not in evidence.

Poor Moses the pug dog in Ireland is not so lucky and is missing.  http://www.doglost.co.uk/dog-blog.php?dogId=49850&status=Lost.  Hope nobody has stolen him and he comes home soon.  Owner went to Crufts last Saturday and found it really worrying how many dogs are being stolen in the UK.

Spring it is a Comin' In

Watching dem beautiful blackbirds chirrupin' in the morning sun of Stratford-upon-Avon.

Food To Go

Why eat your wet sachet Sainsburys Bistro food with your paws on cold kitchen tiles when you can pick up bits with your mouth and deposit on the warmer fake laminate of the living room floor and eat it there in a nice puddle of gravy?!  Yes this week I have been putting the 'takeaway' into dining as well as spreading gravy slime around the house.

I have also discovered the great beauty of 'Miss Rose' another lilac a blue colourpointed cat on the web: http://oliverandruby.wordpress.com.  This might be a cat I would not try to bully.  Hate to admit it but she does have the glamour edge on me.

Furry White Slug

Things I have been doing lately:

1. Head-butted owner's cup of tea causing it to spill over magazine, chair cushion, table and owner's clothing
2. Hid under a bamboo bush in the garden and refused to make my presence known or come in when called whilst my owner was frantically searching for me
3. Chewed wire on new telephone
4. Hogged middle of the bed in the night and created furnace like heat meaning my owner was forced to lie on edge of the mattress with duvet off trying to cool down
5. Bird-watched blackbirds, starlings and pigeons as they have got excited about arrival of Spring
6. Attacked a woodlouse but gave up within two seconds as most uninteresting when it plays dead, what a spoilsport
7. Shown lack of interest in posh brand of 'Beef' flavoured cat food ... hopefully not horsemeat
8. Given my owner some kneading sessions in attempt to assist with her high blood pressure
9. Sat on owner's chest preventing her from reading this month's book club selection - Margaret Forster's Keeping the World Away.

Full Moon-itus

The cold icy stuff has gone so I've been able to go out in the garden again in the evenings for some a-mousing and to pounce on night flitting moths  in the light of the full moon.  On my return through the kitchen doors I have yowled about my exciting activities at my owner so that she is kept fully informed.  Unfortunately, the lunar cycle has been making me a little aggressive and my owner has been complaining when I have been trying to forcifully pull her out of bed by her hair in the middle of the night.  Can't imagine why?  You would have thought she would be delighted to be sharing my company rather than doing noisy breathing through her open mouth. I have also been having a few temper tantrums and tried to knock my owner off her feet after a night of imprisonment in the kitchen accompanied by loud shouting at her to protest at such harsh treatment when I should be allowed full reign of the house.  I am re-booked in for my booster jabs on Saturday so will develop my usual sixth sense ("I see alive vet people") a half hour before my owner plans to bundle me into the cat carrier and go and hide in an unreachable position beneath the double bed so that she is forced to lie down in a very uncomfortable postion and try and fish for me with her arm.

Its (not) getting hot in here

Well, I am hopefully on the mend again.  Back to waking my owner up at various minutes past 4.00 am for a bit of much needed attention.  I either like to sit on her pillow and shout, bite and pull her hair with my teeth or do some excellent athletic long-jumping across the full width of her bed and landing in a very noisy manner.

Handsome Henry and Ms E Heap

I'm none too pleased with the cold though and I am either velcro-ing myself to my owner's anatomy or leeching warmth out of radiator covers as in the attached picture.  I have been enjoying pouncing on my Pets@Home fluffy reindeer toy on a stick c/o Miss E Heap at Christmas.  We rudely forgot to return the favour with Lord Feline Henry who I deigned to share a house with for three months a few years back when I was a kitten and he was already a mature boy.  We did NOT get on as I kept trying to chase him around the house, ate his food and sat atop his litter box whilst he was trying to use it.  What laughs!

Vets Revisited

Vets: two injections, course of antibiotics and blood test.  Me: not very happy.  Owner: empty purse, emotional derangement and loss of weight/sleep.

Felt rather poorly, lethargic, depressed, no shouting, hiding away and refusing to eat food so had to visit vets again.  Did not enjoy injections/physical examination but strangely relaxed during blood test but that may have been due to having three vetinary nurses surrounding and admiring me which is always pleasing.  Rather a suspenseful wait for results but all seems clear other than shameful case of worms, as owner been most lax in applying worming spot-on.  She can only guess I must have had adverse reaction to antibiotics as I have perked up considerably since discontinuing them.

Appreciation of Elf Culture

Participating in an Elf Party

Have been feeling under the weather.  Stopped eating my food and just wanted to sleep and sleep so taken to vets who diagnosed temperature and swollen tonsils. :-(  Given two stinky injections and course of antibiotics.  Seemed to perk up after jabs and being taken on short holiday in Stratford-on-Avon, where got to enjoy 3 x attention, an Elf Party (had a go at sniffing a lit candle and investigating food trays on the table).  Also given some lovely prawns.  However, on my return home I had a great sulk and then became very subdued.  Owner rather worried but have another vet appointment booked for the weekend.